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Laughter, The Best Medicine

National Juggernaut: This Cartoon Seemed Far-Fetched In 1948

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Laughter, The Best Medicine

Proofreading is a Dying Art

Headlines

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter  
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.  It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!  They put in a correction the next day.

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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says  
No kidding, really? Ya think?  
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers   
 Now that's taking things a bit far!  
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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over  

What a guy!    
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Miners Refuse to Work after Death  

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!  
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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant   

See if that works any better than a fair trial!  
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War Dims Hope for Peace   
 I can see where it might have that effect!  
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 If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile  
Ya think?!  
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures 
 
 Who would have thought!  
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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide    
They may be on to something!  
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges   

 You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?  
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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge   

 He probably IS the battery charge!  
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group   
Weren't they fat enough?!  
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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft   

That's what he gets for eating those beans!  
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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks   
Do they taste like chicken?
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Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half   

 Chainsaw Massacre all over again!  
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors   
Boy, are they tall!

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And the winner is….

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead     
Did I read that right?

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Categories
Laughter, The Best Medicine

Drinking and driving just doesn’t pay.

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Laughter, The Best Medicine

Laugh Your Way to Health

by Cindie Leonard

(NaturalNews) In Jimmy Buffett's famous song, "Changes in Latitudes," a key line in the chorus is: "If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane." This verse in this fun and somewhat philosophical song is supported by scientific research. Our mental health is positively enhanced by laughter.

Using laughter as medicine is not a new concept. As early as the 14th Century, French surgeon Henri de Mondeville used humor therapy to aid recovery from surgery. He wrote: "Let the surgeon take care to regulate the whole regimen of the patient's life for joy and happiness, allowing his relatives and special friends to cheer him and by having someone tell him jokes." In the 1930s U.S. hospitals began to bring in clowns to cheer children hospitalized with polio. In 1972, the Gesundheit Institute (of Patch Adams fame) was founded to bring "fun, friendship, and the joy of service back into health care."

Norman Cousins calls laughter "internal jogging." Cousins had been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, an experience that had led him to question Western medicine. Cousins found the treatments suggested by his doctors to be totally lacking, so he checked himself out of the hospital and checked into a hotel. From here on, he literally laughed himself back to health. He immersed himself in only funny movies and television shows. He enjoyed every one of the Charlie Chaplin movies, and watched "Candid Camera" episodes until his sides hurt, laughing. His illness disappeared. From this experience, he wrote an enlightening book, "Anatomy of an Illness."

Even the Bible suggests that we keep a happy heart: "A cheerful heart does good like a medicine: but a broken spirit makes one sick." Proverbs 17:22

Solid scientific research demonstrates that laughter offers the following benefits:

Lowering blood pressure

Strengthening cardiovascular functions

Reducing stress hormones

Improving circulation

Increasing muscle flexion

Oxygenating the body by boosting the respiratory system

Boosting immune function by raising levels of infection-fighting T-cells, disease-fighting proteins called Gammainterferon and B-cells, which produce disease-destroying antibodies.

Triggering the release of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers

Producing a general sense of well-being.

Even anticipating laughter can enhance our biochemistry. In a novel experiment conducted at Loma Linda University, researchers studied a group of 16 healthy male volunteers. The participants were assigned to two groups. Blood was drawn from both groups four times during the event and three times afterward. The experiment group was told that they would be watching a humorous video. The control group was not. The findings were astounding. The experiment group showed not only a decrease in stress hormones (cortisol, epinephrine, and dopac,) but also an increase in beta-endorphins (chemicals that alleviate depression) and human growth hormone (which boosts immunity.)

Dr. Lee Berk, the team's lead researcher, sums up the study: "Our findings lead us to believe that by seeking out positive experiences that make us laugh we can do a lot with our physiology to stay well."

In an earlier study conducted by Dr. Berk and her team, the experimental group watched a humorous video. Blood samples were measured on both the experimental group (that watched the humorous video) and a control group (that did not watch the video.) The results were similar to the above experiment showing positive biochemical changes by those who watched the funny video. In addition, this study also demonstrated the positive physiological changes that occur after a session of laughter. Dr. Berk states: "The physiological effects of a single one-hour session viewing a humorous video appear to last anywhere from 12 to 24 hours in different individuals."

Interestingly, one can exercise both mind and body is a class called "laughter yoga." This trend has been active in India and China for years and is now part of a growing trend in the United States. The students are re-learning something children already know instinctively — that laughter makes you feel better. Barb Fisher, a certified laughter yoga teacher, states that "kids laugh about 400 times a day, and adults only about 15…Laughter is a gift that has been given to us to make us feel better."

Laughter is proving to be a tool to protect ourselves from heart disease. Dr. Michael Miller, director of the Center for Preventive Cardiology at the University of Maryland Medical Center, sums up the benefits of laughter: "We don't know yet why laughing protects the heart, but we know that mental stress is associated with impairment of the endothelium, the protective barrier lining our blood vessels. This can cause a series of inflammatory reactions that lead to fat and cholesterol build-up in the coronary arteries and ultimately to a heart attack…The ability to laugh — either naturally or as learned behavior may have important implications in societies such as the U.S. where heart disease remains the number one killer."

Research into the positive effects of laughter is generating a global interest into humor and well-being. The Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor sites this official definition of Therapeutic Humor: "Any intervention that promotes health and wellness by stimulating a playful discovery, expression or appreciation of the absurdity or incongruity of life's situations…This intervention may enhance health or be used as a complementary treatment of illness to facilitate healing or coping, whether physical, emotional, cognitive, social or spiritual."

How many other therapies can you think of that are effective, free, and have no known negative effects?

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."
e.e. cummings

American Psychological Society (2008, April 10). Anticipating a Laugh Reduces Our Stress Hormones.

Berk LS, Felten DL, Tan SA, Bittman BB, Westengard J. Modulation of Neuroimmune Parameters During the Eustress of Humor-Associated Mirthful Laughter. Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine, March 2001.

University of Michigan Health System (2008, May 6). Laugh Your Way To Wellness With Yoga Trend. ScienceDaily.

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Laughter, The Best Medicine

Backside of Rushmore

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Laughter, The Best Medicine

Wooooooooh, don’t be so touchy my little friend.

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Laughter, The Best Medicine

Dear John,

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:


Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
I’m so sorry,
Becky

The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins, etc.

In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:

Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry too, but I can't quite remember who the heck you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Good Luck,
Freddy

Categories
Laughter, The Best Medicine

Scientists Discover New Element: Governmentium (satire)

by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger

The following report on a major scientific discovery is making the rounds on the 'net. The original author is unknown, so we don't know who to credit for this, but it was most likely written by someone working for the government while ON the government clock!

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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Laughter, The Best Medicine

LIFE IN MEDIEVAL EUROPE **

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about  how things used to be.Here are some facts about the Medieval Europe:

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in
May, and still smelled pretty good by June.    
However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of
flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom  
today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the
house had the privilege of the nice clean water,    
then all the other sons and men, then  the women and finally the
children. Last of all the babies. By then the water  
was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying,
Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water.    

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood
underneath. It was the only place for animals to get    
warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs ) lived in
the roof When it rained it became slippery and    
sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.  Hence the
saying It's raining cats and dogs.                  

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.  This
posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and
other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with
big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded  
some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, Dirt poor.                      

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when
wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to
help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh
until, when you opened the door, it would all  
start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway.
Hence the saying a thresh hold.                

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that
always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the
fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did
not get much meat.. They would eat the stew for  
dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then
start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food  
in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas
porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in  
the pot nine days old..

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up      
their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could,
bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little  
to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content
caused some of the lead to leach onto the      
food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with
tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes  
were considered poisonous.

The very wealthy and privileged were able to afford kitchenware, bowls, cups,
forks, and spoons made of silver. Although germs were not generally known to be
the culprit in causing disease, silver was known to be a factor in keeping people from
getting sick, so during the times of plagues, these wealthier families would give
their children silver spoons to suck on. Hence came the term, “born with a silver
spoon in their mouths”.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of
the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests
got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would
sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of    
days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and
prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the  
kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around
and eat and drink and wait and see if they would
wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of
places to bury people. So they would dig up        
coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave.
When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25      
coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they
realized they had been burying people alive. So they  
would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the
coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a    
bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all n ight (the
graveyard shift). to listen for the bell; thus,  
someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer..

And that's the truth. Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !

Categories
Laughter, The Best Medicine

Cowboys & Yuppies

An grizzled old rancher was working his herd in a remote pasture here in South Texas when suddenly a brand-new Lincoln Town Car advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
 
The driver, a well-groomed man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the old cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The rancher looks at the man, obviously some sort of an indoor yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and wanting to see how such a thing would be attempted, calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the rancher and says, 'You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.'

'That's down right amazing son. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,' says the old cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the rancher says to the young man, “How would you like two calves? If I can tell you exactly what your business is, I get my calf back, but if I fail, I’ll give you another calf.”

The man in the suit thinks about it for a second and then says, 'Okay, why not?'

'You're a United States Congressman’, says the rancher.

'Wow! That's correct,' says the sharp dressed man, 'but how did you guess that?'

'No guessing required.' answered the old cowboy. 'You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter you are than I am, and yet, you don't know a thing about cows…this is a herd of sheep.’

 “Now give me back my dog before he smothers in your trunk.”